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Track No. 3 from Dreams in Space and Time by DeScianni
LYRICS- In My Mind
Splintered feelings veil, warm hearts elude
Hope's majesty wearing lost faith, to St Jude
Runaway, fantasy blind, life's candle flickers hearts-un-kind
Unbound eyes
Binding lives
Never celebrated search for what’s lost
Love’s indentured darkness
Fades a million sunsets over the frost
Some don't feel, loving don't heal
All I know are goodbyes
Once a raging stallion, now a forged medallion
In my mind, in my mind
Over the mountains, wolf spirits get lost living shallow
All that's left are broken dreams and all that time stole
On the run, cold atop, icy roads lined with streams in thaw
While survivors lose a lifetime, virtues outlaw
In heaven, immunity all fleeting dust lighthouses trail
Life's thirst, shadows first, reasons not to fail
Some don't feel, loving don't heal
All I know are goodbyes
Once a raging stallion, now a forged medallion
In my mind, in my mind
Reins of reason vow chasms of pain (In my mind),
Older minds with hearts insane
Winter's blood, cold on torn roots, rescued lost
Faith's stranger of endless resolution's cost
Runaway, to see who cares
Whispering their name to sleep
Hiding from myself
Bleeding light I can't express
Living a lifetime chasing dreams
Not on the road with icy streams
Lobotomized journey, hypocrisy
In my mind
Loving don’t heal
All I know are goodbyes
Once a raging stallion, now a forged medallion
In my mind
Deep-Dive SYNOPSIS of the song: In My Mind by DeScianni, Sister song to Life's Thirst Shadows First
The song In My Mind by DeScianni is a deeply introspective ballad that explores great loss, unfulfilled dreams, the unrelenting search for meaning, in the journey of lighthouse’s trail. Reins of reason vow chasms of pain, it is hard to celebrate while trenchant in all that was lost. Ultimately, it is a story of the human spirit's resilience in the face of life's hardships to find real reasons not to fail in the face of loss. It is a poignant meditation on the enduring thirst for living, understanding and healing, despite the shadows that often come first.
“Bewail ransom” expresses great regret and disappointment of the ransom paid without deliverance and atonement. It paints a haunting portrait of bad angels rolling high in a very hard journey through life marked by sorrow, fleeting hope, and the struggle to reconcile past pain. The lyrics convey a sense of moving across frozen ground of failed or even true extrication to Heaven on Earth, while others depend on immunity in Heaven, with the protagonist portrayed as both a survivor and a wanderer—someone who once embodied raw raging power but now feels diminished by the weight of time, loss, and mortality.
The song emphasizes the passage of time as both a wound and a testament to survival, conveying how these emotional scars linger, never quite finding closure, but enduring in tenuous faith in something much greater. It is a plea for redemption for an innocent child with unbound eyes on lighthouse’s trail from a terrible childhood, in a universe vast and indifferent that begins in the innocence of youth and persists amid the shadows of what could have been. "Bewail ransom nil tempered dreams of dreams" laments for dreams of dreams once believed, many not realized for reasons now all fleeting dust, being not ready to receive them. Attempts to “ransom” them consecrated in divine intervention, or going back in time fixing it all, or removing any memory of it, the joy was never celebrated in all that was lost. Calling out for a new perspective beyond the naïve intoxication of youth, it often replays like a perpetual, grisly morning after like a broken record in our dreams, as we take unkindly the counsel of the years. Living with a frozen heart requires strength and faith. When the currents run deep, Good Fortune diverges as blind and happy as an oyster that wears no pearl to a cold mind, detached from warm thoughts, where we dream of dreams we once believed.
The idea that "some don't feel, loving don't heal" suggests many are not laden by or even capable of these thoughts, or had perfect lives, a raw acknowledgment of emotional limitations in mending deeper wounds. The protagonist’s journey is one of constant searching—an attempt to "bridge undying sorrow" while navigating a cold, unforgiving world where warmth and compassion seem forever out of reach. The song uses vivid imagery, such as "Life's candle flickers hearts unkind," "forged medallion," and "wolf spirits get lost," to depict the battle between hope and despair in a world where no one is divine and divine is questioned. There's a recurring motif of 'running away' from both external and internal demons, (bad angels) an escape or a lobotomy of the memories. Yet, despite the darkness, the song hints at a longing for redemption, nurturing strength of spirit, a better existence, “a better man’s tale”, even if this dream of dreams remains elusive. In this reflection on human vulnerability, the passage of time reminds faith’s stranger of endless resolution’s cost, a stark reminder of how emotional scars never fully heal but time never stops to age.
The ballad touches on religious and spiritual elements, "St. Jude" (patron saint of hopeless cases, redemption) and "holy light," indicating an enduring, though sometimes faltering, sense of steadfastness in real faith. This juxtaposition of spiritual longing against life's harsh realities adds another layer of complexity, portraying a battle not only against external circumstances but also between the shadows of this world and the light in one’s soul. Ultimately, the song stands as a poignant meditation on life's intrinsic thirst for understanding—a thirst that, more often than not, is accompanied by undying pain without any answers.
In these shadows resonates all that is right and wrong, the indentured darkness of love, of friends, family, the light in true love of an absent God, things not lived in joy, taken for granted, as faith’s stranger of missed moments never celebrated. It mourns the innocence that was left behind and the dreams that faded without acknowledgment, for the fair winds of a better start. The repeated lament, "Never celebrated what was lost," embodies this deep sorrow—a cry not only for lost souls, lost love, lost time, but also for the lost beginnings that might have shaped a different destiny.
It captures the sense of a futile struggle of being mortal, nil tempered for the harshness of reality, but life’s thirst shadows first, "reasons not to fail" which expresses the profound weight of purpose—the need to persist, driven by an inner force to keep going despite the overwhelming odds. It reflects the spirit's resistance to defeat. "In Heaven, Immunity all fleeting dust" suggests that true immunity—inner peace—cannot be earned through effort or worldly means but only through forgiveness, which is elusive and fleeting, as is all material things in life, like dust.
The "Lighthouse's trail" represents life, guided by a distant guiding light given since birth, symbolizing hope that remains far away, often only visible but never quite reached in the core struggle, the overwhelming thirst for strength, meaning and fulfillment, always met first by shadows or past failures. Yet, it also expresses a powerful drive to persevere despite the constant setbacks, fueled by the inner force to find reasons to keep going, even in the face of diminished dreams. It is always “in your mind”, it does not define you, it does not make you stronger, maybe even angry over time. The imperfection takes away some of your joy, to carry such a burden, so all one can do is to celebrate what was lost, to trust the blessing, to run and live life to the fullest reaching the heights of the gifts bestowed, without fear from the imperfection inherent in thy creation. In any version of the past or end, let me feel not the poor child afraid, but send the pure young child in me, from holy lights in a universe so vast.
